02 January 2017

Before I go

Kerisauan.

Should or shouldn't I meet him? Even when I write a short letter for him, I cried for hours. Then how can I meet him? Salam dia? Be like, there's nothing that hurt me?

Ya Rabb, even when I walk away from his life, aku pergi jauh dari dia for years, to build my strength, to build my heart back, but every time the issues is about him, my heart turn into pieces again. Aku tak kuat rupanya.

Aku jadi manusia lemah yang rebah terus melata ke bumi. Bila berdiri terus goyah tersungkur. Jadi, bagaimana?

Entah kenapa, rasa begitu sakit. Begitu perih.

Is it enough with only a short letter for him before I go? Tuhan, jujur aku tak kuat. Dan entah bila hati akan jadi kuat lagi, untuk dia.

Aku tak marah, jauh sekali dendam dan benci. Aku cuma, terluka. Terluka yang tak terlihat. Yang entah bila sembuhnya.

Maaf.
Terasa rapuh sekali, ayah.

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