20 April 2017

My Umrah experience πŸ•‹

Assalamualaikum.

I just came back from Saudi 10th Apr. Even after 10 days, my heart still miss mekah so much! (We went to mekah then baru pergi madinah) even when we're at Madinah, when I watch live tv Masjidil Haram rasa nak nangis sebab rindu
😢😢😢

This thing I don't tell anyone, but I really want to write it somewhere before I begin my #JourneytoTanahHaram story.

After my Umrah, Masha Allah I don't care anymore to have big house, nice clothes, big car. I just want to get married and live in Mekah or Madinah. I just want to live in Tanah Haram.

So dear husband, I wish if one day you read this, and you feel like wanna marry me, for me right now, I only want simple majlis (kalau ikut hati doa selamat & tahlil just like one of my lecturer 😂) and bring me to Mekah with you.

Sebab even after 10 days, I still miss mekah and I don't know how to hold this rindu any longer. Rindu yg sangat sangat. And I really wish this rindu will remain in my heart. (Or should I tell I left my heart in Mekah already 😣)

Because this feeling just make me want to be closer to Allah s.w.t and make me want to learn more about Islam, Qur'an and Arabic language.

Yeah before this aku disogok dengan logical, sciences, and living things. I rarely want to really understand what my religion really meant. Until 10 days ago. When I learnt, Islam is more than what I ever think before.

More than how we compete with each other to please the dunya & reality. More than how we want to be richer than we were before. More than how well our life is. It's more than everything in dunya.

Rahmat Allah swt is more than anything and it can't be counted.

Hm. That's how it changed my thoughts about life. I wish ada pintu suka hati doraemon right now, I want to stay in Masjidil Haram and go to raudhah everyday. Because I finally met the real peace that I've been searched for years.

What make me even more firm with my decision (hamboi ayat kemain 😂) sebab I can go out at night without feel tired/sick/anything following me going back home.

Sebab kalau ada yg dah baca my old life, aku pernah disihir sampai tahap pernah fikir just take my body. Sebab sampai kawan angkat, baca yasin depan pintu like that day is my last day. And after that I need to control my "night outing" or else esoknya I will sick or worst than that orang nampak aku keluar berdua (means there's something following me).

Ok enough about that, but in Mekah I just feel different. Energy sentiasa ada. Balik Masjid lewat pun tak rasa apa. Banyaaak miracle that I found that make me feel, this is home for me. I feel safe here. I want to live here. I want to build my sakinah mawaddah warrahmah family here.

May Allah grant my prayer Amiin ❤

27 March 2017

My Umrah journey πŸ•‹

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

After so many emotional issues, until I need to get married for my mahram (not married yet! Bcs I got another solution Hihi), change umrah agencies for times, change the procedures and so on, Alhamdulillah 29/3/2017 will be precious date for me. Despite of 1 rejab yg memang precious date for all muslims (bulan rejab bulan rahmat before ramadhan 😘) I will perform my Umrah flight from klia straight to Jeddah and then terus ke Makkah untuk umrah pertama.

The exact date for me to go for Umrah is 30/3. But suddenly got call from agency that we got new flight airlines. Offer tukar dari Qatar ke Saudi Airline. Which will be no transit (biasa transit di dubai for hours). Alhamdulillah. I can't describe how happy I am, after shed so many tears try to find the solution for my problems.

Wonder why I really want to go to makkah? πŸ˜‰ sanggup ikat perut for years guna duit Yayasan sebaiknya because I want to save my money for Umrah after I graduated.

My reason is,

Masa sakit 5 tahun lepas (which I think I gonna die Masya Allah!) I went to Masjid AnNur Kolej Matrikulasi Johor nearly everyday. I woke up at 3-4 am siap-siap pergi masjid alone. Balik after 10-11pm. Sepanjang hari spent dekat masjid. Sebab? Sebab nak tenangkan hati & I feel more calm kat rumah Allah. Masa tu masih dalam perubatan Islam. Hampir tiap minggu balik, berubat Islam.

One day, pergi masjid macam biasa. Sementara tunggu subuh, aku tertidur. And at that time I got a dream.

There was me, dekat atas bukit. Dikelilingi (look like human) berjubah putih. Ramai. Sangat ramai bergerak tanpa arah. Just walk around me. Dan bawah bukit tu, aku nampak kaabah. Dan perasaan masa tu? Tenang setenang-tenangnya. Tenang yg aku cari selama ni, aku rasa bila nampak kaabah. Ajaib.

Dan lepas tu aku tersedar. I feel so weird. Pagi tu macam rasa lain. Perasaan macam malam tu malam 10 malam terakhir ramadhan. Padahal bukan bulan puasa. I can't remember who is the one I call after I had that dream, but there's someone. And he/she said, "itu tanda Allah dah panggil"

But at that time, takda duit, sibuk nak habiskan Matrikulasi, lepas tu sambung degree. Sampai alhamdulillah habis degree, baru dapat usaha untuk pergi.

And here I am. Prepare for my Journey to Makkah. May Allah ease. Doakan perjalanan aku dipermudah In shaa Allah. Kalau nak kirim doa, just email at shieera94@gmail.com kalau boleh before 29/3 😊 In shaa Allah seboleh mungkin I will pray it for you.

#sistakbukavaletdoatau
#sistolongje

May Allah bless.

31 January 2017

Cerekarama

Terlalu sering

Ada suara yang tidak dia lontarkan
Diceritakan hanya pada tuhan
Diluar dia hamparkan manisnya senyuman
Walau begitu perih langkah dijalanan.

Dia diam

Melemparkan pandangan
Seolah ruang itu terlalu mengasyikkan
Walau terlihat kabur dipenglihatan

Dalam kelam malam

Dia bercerita pada tuhan
Tentang seisi dunia yang begitu melelahkan
Sampai dia hilang di balik bayangan.

23 January 2017

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