19 April 2016

SK-II: Marriage Market Takeover (Please turn on subtitle)


And we created you in pairs 78:8

Among my friends, I saw they are about to choose what kind of men they want to spend their life, their dream wedding, their dream wedding dress, etc. Frankly speak, I don’t have that kind of dreams. I choose not to have that kind of dreams. 

Afraid? Yes. Skeptical? Yes. I choose to be rational, when it is about feelings. When I saw others’ relationship, I always said to myself, fairytales never happen. Love, live happily ever after won’t happen, nowadays. 

The scariest thing is, to let my children know how it feels to be abandoned, left and forgotten. Let them choose who they need to live with if their parent gets divorced. Whether their mother or their father. And if they choose one of them, another one will think, “Oh my child hates me/my child think that I am wrong/ my child will tell the other parent about my weaknesses” dan akhirnya, anak lah yang memegang semua kesalahan ibu bapa mereka. Anaklah yang menanggung, but they don’t even have anyone that they can tell how it feels, how hurt they are, their parents…..might have their new lover, their family to speak how hurt it is having a broken relationship…but for the kids? Do they have anyone? Want to tell their friends? They might be too young to know how it feels. Beritahu ibu/bapa? Mereka punya masalah lagi besar. Beritahu pakcik/makcik? They might don’t take any part of it, because it is YOUR family problems. So the children need to decide on their own, whether they choose to be someone better or worse than that. 

Masya Allah, aren’t you afraid of our nowadays ummah? L it is because building a marriage based on taknak buat maksiat, nak ada orang sayang, nak ada orang jaga, nak jaga hati/pandangan & so on (Which makes em looks like getting married because of their nafs/desires).  

Maybe I am the one, being so skeptical about a marriage. (People will think that I am opposed of a marriage) No! I am not..I just think that to build a marriage, even to build a relationship..we need to choose the real one (Based on this video) it is not because being so picky, but it is about how a simple akad will turn someone’s life. Whether the marriage will turn them into a beautiful sakinah,mawaddah, warrahmah family, or vice versa.  It is a great responsibility as a moslem, to create new ummah, not to destroy them.

Why I am saying this? Because I am one among the children that know how it feels to live a broken marriage. How hard it is to struggle each years, each days, each seconds. Out of more than 16 of my uncles and aunties, only one of them that trying so hard to understand me. Listen to all my stories masya Allah, thanks to you, bless CikMat & CikNa, protect them. And I am grateful enough, Allah brings me back to HIM. Allah Always remind me of HIS presence, HIS love. And HE gives me someone that I inspires so much. It is true when people said, love makes us alive. I don’t need to own the love, but I just need to feel it to keep on take another step in my life.

"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested."
Surah Al-Ankabut, ayat 2.