How's my internship

Assalamualaikum

How's my intern? I am doin' my intern at Institute of Bioprosesing development UTM. First time calling myself an engineer researcher, make my self confidence fly up high! (As I have low confidence since my parents got divorced Huhu)

Alhamdulillah, Allah bring me here at last minute time. I still don't get my intern place until my last week of final exam. Lepas tu gelababah sensorang sebab orang lain semua dah dapat zobz (I got at HUKM and UPM but it's too far! So I re-apply again at UTM so that I can go back to my hometown ehehe)

But theeen, my hardwork, my upside down life for past few years, have been paid by Allah, I got place not only for my intern, but also my Final Year Project, and my master Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, and In syaa Allah might be my place to work too. Allahu, He knows best Allahu I feel so small when He gives me so much happiness, out of everything had happened.

There are so many inspired person here. Been talked with my supervisors (I have Kak Ina and Kak Linda worked under Prof Sham, they are so humble Masya Allah) about this, and it seems, Allah have so many reasons to bring me here, to put me far from my dreams, to work at hosp.

Here, I am doing some microbial engineering stuffs that make me feel so excited to explore the unseen world. Doing so many things that make me forgot how I face my old life. Encourage me doing more and more so that I can see the happiness in me.

Allah is the best planner.
Thank you, Allah.
Thank you.

My tips : Put Allah First in what you do. In everything you want to do, may He is the reason you want to do those things. Please Him, and put trust on Him. For every path it takes that will bring us toward Him. May Allah bless 

17 /1/2016

I believe in Doa. A LOT. Allah is Al-Mujeeb, we believe with certainty.

Even sometimes, I feel like I am asking Allah for ridiculous things. I talk to Him like, He is in front of me. Oh yes, He is always with us, it just we can't see Him. But I just feel like I am doing pillow talk, I tell Him everything, like today what I feel. Like, Ya Allah I am tired, Like Ya Allah today is a funny day, that we got something happening in our class etc.

Usually, I didn't tell people what I asked from Allah. Because it's between us. Me and Him. But today, I feel like asking something that I'd never think of it, that I think is it sinful for me to ask this from Him?

I said,

Ya Allah, let me forget everything about him. Let me forget everything like, all those memories about him. Let me forget my childhood memories. Let me forget that I knew him, once. Let me forget all the painful things etc.

I feel, sinful. But I am tired already. Waiting for him is just like waiting for the stars to fall in front of me.

I realized, that he uses me, my weakness that I respect him as my father, to release himself from the problem he created. For everything. I never tell my relatives, I am the one who first get to know that he is dating with another lady. I am the first one he scold when I told him what I know. I never tell our relatives, because I love him. I love our family so much. But then, he told to the relatives that I am the one who did this and that, When I didn't excel for my SPM, and he tells our relatives that I am not good enough (But he is the one who proud when I get straight As for my PMR), Masya Allah, you can't imagine how hurt it is, when someone that you wish to be proud of you, to save you from dunya, to stay with you if anything happen, to defend you in front of others, doing this. He killed my dreams to be a doctor, he said, don't dream high if you can't achieve it. I am not only dreaming. I struggled for it, but he ruins it with what he called, his happiness .He said, Mama is the one who should be blamed for, and yet  I still hope that he will change, and realize all of this begin from him. All the relatives, seems hate us now. And All I can do is, smiling. Can you imagine, how hurt it is?

I know, Allah send this calamities because He knows I can bear with it.

I tried.

But then, I just want to walk another road. I want to release him. From my mind, from my heart. I want to forget everything. Can I?

Men outside there, woman's heart is soft. But she can bear with all the painful things you give. She can give you like trillion chances. But when she stop doing that, that means, you're above the limit. You may see, all she can do is crying over the same thing like trillion times. You may say it is her weakness. But, for god sake, as a woman, we are stronger than you.

XOXO

When you love so much,
All you want is their happiness.

Congratulation, love.
Congratulation.

OUR STEAMBOT PARTY

This post I write weeks ago HAHAHAHAH tapi tak publish sebab busy. KISAHNYA (Tapi sempat lagi tengok cite korea acane teww)

Cerita dia macam ni, due to our hectic week for our tests and quizzes (Setiap minggu ade test!) Kami ( My housemates and I) selalu la decide on weekend nak buat apa sebagai reward for ourselves yang dah jalani seminggu dengan jayanya. Hehehe

Lepas tu kami pun cadang nak isi perut dengan our craving-ness. Memula nak makan seafood, lepas tu nak makan steamboat. Konon nak pergi Seoul Garden tapi badan peh penat sesangat dan kami pun tak gigih nak pergi bandar semata nak makan steambot.

Then, sebab kami ni anak dara yang rajin kononnya, (Ok kira rajin la pepetang balik penat-penat angkat periuk nasi, memasak sebab nak isi anak tekak yg kebuluran hahahah) beli barang barang nak buat steambot. Takde la steambot sangat sebab beli yg dah siap pack, dengan few sayurs. Sesejak duduk sini, memang sayur je la yang isi tekak kami, sebab sayur je yang tahan seminggu nak masak hahah. Biasanya kami beli stock tomatoes, carrot, broccoli & kentang. Sebab? tahan lama 

Kalau ikutkan kami agak rajin la, sebab sepanjang duduk tempat orang dah 2 tahun, habis jauh, pergi market nak beli barang masakan. TU KIRA DAH HABIS HEAVEN BILA NAMPAK SAYUR SEGAR haha

Maybe all of my clans bukan jenis berjalan, dan bukan jenis suka lepak tempat hipsturrr jadi kami agak jimat di situ. Hikhik. Setiap semester dari RM3000 lepas bayar yuran dengan rumah, boleh simpan RM500-800 for my #Missionhabisdegree. Haa jimatlah sebab selain yuran dengan rumah, basically barang masak for a week & few of my vitamins (Ye la kami Biologi-ian selain agak particular dengan kesihatan dalaman dan luaran, kami agak pentingkan otak. Nak pakai otak lama oi.) Anddd now I spend the money  for my moraessential. Alhamdulillah at least I achieve my dream with my own kudrat empat kerat. Selain doa-doa mama & awak semua .

Okeyyyy balik pada steambot, we buy all the things for RM30 untuk makan 5 orang. Include sayur yang macam-macam! Andddd paling best sayur tu kiteorang beli baru sampai dari lori dan sesangat fresh dan crunchy nya  Masya Allah loveeeee it to the max!

Ye la maybe orang lain (My other school friends) boleh pergi memana tempat makan best-best, holiday, but us, maybe this is the moment that we will remember someday (when we have our own family) masak sesama, balik kelas kebuluran potong cili, potong bawang, rebus makaroni, share lots of recipes, share the way we cook, it's such a beautiful moment to be remembered kan? =)

 

Hihi saja la bagi gambaq besaq sikit ;p

 

Yang ni semua celur sesatu lepas tu cik Azi (Housemate) gigih susun. Aku tukang amik gambar sebab kalau lah aku susun, dia akan jadi gumpalan-gumpalan makanan takpun, aku masukkan semua dalam kuah tomyam. Hahahaaa tu kira tak kreatif ke pemalas? Hm.

Makanya malam tu kami pun jadi ular kekenyangan. Serious kenyang gils. Kuah takde gambar sebab time amik gambar ni, kuah tengah mendidih. Hehe Kuah kami beli je paste tomyam, pastu alter sesikit jadi la macam ala kemelayuan sikit. Hehe kata anak dara melayu kan.

Tapi ni buat seminggu sekali, 2 minggu sekali boleh la. Time lab tak bertimbun, kerja Mandarin tak berlambak, Account balance sheet tak bertabur. Kalau masak hari-hari, aku main campak je dalam periuk pastu makan. Asal makanan tu boleh telan, jadila =)